Angry Birdsaholic

Work is stressful right now. Lots to do, not a ton of time to do it all in. My roommate Kirsti and I have invented a theory: playing Angry Birds on our phones is the Mormon's equivalent to getting plastered at a bar after a long day at the office.

Allow me to explain. Angry Birds is a very stupid yet surprisingly addictive game we play on our phones. Premise: a bunch of birds are mad at a bunch of pigs and you help them with their sweet revenge by launching them into structures that house said pigs to smash the little devils. Sounds dumb, right? Right.

But I can't stop playing. Not won't, not don't, CAN'T. I get home after a twelve hour day and Kirsti and I sit on the couches in the living room still in our work clothes and play angry birds for an embarrassing amount of time. The other day we put down the stupid game long enough to invent this theory, that Angry Birds is a Mormon Girl's beer.

Why?

First, it's incredibly addictive yet not especially awesome. It's not like Angry Birds is the best game I've ever played. It certainly isn't the most exciting. And yet... I. Can't. Stop.

Second, I'm pretty sure it impairs our judgement and destroys various brain cells. I can't prove it but after playing Angry Birds for an extended period of time, I feel sort of lethargic and say dumb things like "I need to bo to ged" and "When you are to be working at tomorrow?"

Third, we use it as a release. Kirsti isn't just my roommate, she's also my co-worker. We have the same job at the MTC. I absolutely love what I do but the job comes with it's fair amount of stressful decisions, deadlines and difficult situations. She and I will sit on the couch and discuss teaching strategies, how to correct wayward employees, what we can do to better understand new curriculum, etc. as we play Angry Birds. Helps us unwind so to speak. Most people go get drinks after work... we kill pigs with birds.

Fourth, it usually causes me to stay up too late thus causing the "Angry Birds hangover" as I lovingly refer to it. That hits me at 7 AM when I have to get up and I realize that playing Angry Birds well into the night was a stupid decision... and yet upon my arrival home that same night at 10 PM, I plop myself down on the couch and resume.

Fifth, playing Angry Birds causes me to get excited over or amused at ridiculous things, like when I kill all the pigs on a level on my first try. Even worse, Angry Birds causes me to get overly upset at even more ridiculous things, like when I try in vain to beat a level for ten minutes. Again, I don't have much experience with alcohol but something tells me that the symptoms are similar.

In short, I either need to beat the game or get rid of it soon before this addiction turns me in to a full-blown Angry Birdsaholic.