day 19- a talent of yours

I have a talent for owning blue articles of clothing. I just counted the blue shirts in my closets and drawers and there are over 40. That isn't even all of them but I got tired of counting. I am a big fan of blue.

I have a talent for not owning any pink. I own two pink shirts. Not a fan of pink.

I have a talent for not buying jewelry. I don't like it, I don't wear it. In fact all of the jewelry I own could fit (and does sit) inside an Altoid tin. Truth.

I have a talent for sleeping on planes. Doesn't matter how short or long the flight or how tempting the in-flight movies are or even how tired I may or may not be. I always always always sleep on planes.

I have a talent for not sleeping in beds at night... or sleeping at all at night. I have insomnia and have a hard time falling asleep. Sometimes I will toss and turn in my bed for hours but once I stumble upstairs and lay on the couch, I'm asleep in seconds.

I have a talent for getting tricky knots untied.

I have a talent for getting annoying songs stuck in my head.

I think I have a talent for reading people.

I definitely have a talent for reading books.

I'd like to have a talent for playing the piano... alas I quit when I was a wee little thing, much to the chagrin of my mother. But I do have a talent for music in that I have an ear for harmony when I sing.

I have a talent for loving people. That comes very easy to me and I am glad about that.

I do not have a talent for confrontation, telling people no, or any form of visual art. I also am not talented at bowling.

I am a talented optimist.

I am not a talented morning person.

I do have a talent for watching the same youtube video or listening to the same song over and over and over and over until everyone around me wants to die.

I have a talent for spending a lot of time cleaning my room the messing it up in a matter of seconds. I'm super good at that.

I'm pretty sure I was talented as an MTC teacher and that makes me very happy.

Most of all, I am talented at making a list of my talents composed of very few things that would be considered actual talents.

day 18- a hero

A hero.

One hero.

I can't think of just one. I have had such a difficult time trying to justify one hero that, again, I have postponed posting. My first instinct was to put my Mom. She's definitely a hero. Or my Dad. Big hero. Next I thought of Sister Rhien, my mission president's wife. Or President Rhien would be up there. I thought of Nate Checketts, my MTC teacher that has forever influenced my life and probably doesn't realize how much of an impact he had on a 21 year old. I thought of my sister Kathy serving in the Ukraine, other family members that do amazing things every day. My Grandma Kathy would definitely be one of my big heros. My Grandma Di and Grandma Jones too. Both Grandpas. I thought of Abinadi, who I'm convinced must have been my neighbor in the Spirit World because I've felt this amazing connection to his story ever since I was a tiny thing. I think about some of the writers I've studied, some of the historical figures I've thought about. I've thought about people who have made an influence on me in mere seconds, like Fraser and the boy on the metro.

But none of these seemed to take. I couldn't write about one without failing to write about another. I have so many people in my life that have influenced me so much and I can't pick just one.

In desperation, I googled "Lizzie's hero" to see if magically google and my psyche would collaborate and help me out. While doing this, I began to laugh out loud as I remembered the night about a year ago when Joe and Bouch and Bob and I were all lying on the floor in my apartment yelling things into our cellphones and laughing hysterically. We had been talking about the uncertainty of the future as we looked towards job hunts, eventual marriages, career choices, and all those other things we're trying to figure out. We decided to employ the voice activation dialing system to predict our futures. Bob would push the voice recognition button and then once the woman's automated voice asked "Who would you like to call?" he'd yell "My future wife!" then we'd all pause with stifled laughter as we waited for what the Automated Lady would think Bob said. "Calling... Misty Fife." There you had it. Bob found his wife. Joe would ask the Automated Lady to call his "truest friend!" "Calling... Trudy Freeman." Bouch would ask to call his "future employer" and Automated Lady would tell us that Bouch needed to get in contact with Joe Boyer, which of course Joe loved to hear.

But I digress... (which, by the way, will probably be the title of my next blog)

So I did it. I turned to google. "Who is Lizzie's Hero?" I asked my google friends. They didn't answer my question, but they did point me to a girl on Facebook named Lizzie Hero. I almost made Lizzie Hero my hero until I thought of appealing to my old friend, YouTube. And I found this amazing gem.

My dad's church calling right now is working at the jail to help the inmates with their spirituality, which is really awesome. But I think if he did something like this, it'd be more awesome.

What's that you say? You'd like to see the inmates dance to more songs? Ummmm, OKAY!!

How about them doing a medley of Soulja Boy and M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This"?

Or maybe an awesome rendition of MJ's Thriller?

What about Jump by the Pointer Sisters?

My hero is whomever came up with this idea.

Dear Lizzie,

You use too many post-it notes at work.

More sincerely,

The World.

Dear world,

Stop judging me... especially you, person who just walked past my desk and scoffed as you saw me digging in my trash can. I'll have you know that the bag was replaced less than an hour ago. I'll have you know that there wasn't a smidgen of garbage in that can. I 'll have you know that the trash can was actually purchased especially for me just last Friday when I got upgraded to the biggest cubicle in this place. Yep, that's right. The biggest. Don't judge me because I accidentally threw away the only plastic fork I own, the one I keep at work to eat my lunch on days that I work 13 hours and you only work 2. Don't judge me as you walk past my cubicle and see me reaching in the clean new trash can with the clean new sack and no germs to be seen. Stop judging me.

Regards,

Squiggly line (~) Lizzie

P.S. I promise I will return to my blog-a-day thing sometime soon... eventually.. maybe...

A musing.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog-a-day program to bring you this message from our sponsor. It is time for some amused musings.

***

They spent $500 million making the movie Avatar. Think about how much that is... think about being on that payroll... think about being one of those paid writers...

Now please help me figure this out:

UNOBTANIUM? REALLY?!?

You have $500 million to spend and your writers call this sought after mineral unobtanium? Why not "reallyhardtogetium" or "sellsforlotsofmoneyium" or "ourplotisjustlikeferngullyium"?

But in other news, Joe Biden had some charming things to say about Avatar, which he described as this "new program" that "you sit there and watch this science fiction thing"...

Thanks Joe. You're a gem.

***

I was observing one of the newer teachers on my Portuguese team at the MTC today. He was in the middle of this awesome spiritual lesson and was reaching the climax. His voice was soft, his scriptures were out, a few missionaries had tear-filled eyes, the spirit was amazing. He begins a beautiful testimony when all of a sudden, a hand shoots up. Surprised, this teacher calls on the Elder bouncing up and down in his seat.

"Hey, do they have hot pockets in Brazil?" The Spirit ran out of the room.

I also had to run out of the room to go and laugh in the hallway.

***

How To Have A Good Laugh In Seven Steps
By Lizzie Jones

Step 1: Share with one of your best friends named Lora your most embarrassing moment.
Step 2: Have Lora then tell one of her friends the same embarrassing moment.
Step 3: Wait a few years for Lora's friend to forget who initially told her about said moment.
Step 4: Wait until Lora is having a bad day and needs some cheering up.
Step 5: Go search Lora's Facebook page for her new address.
Step 6: Read a message on said page from Lora's said friend detailing the happenings of said embarrassing moment.
Step 7: Realize that not only did Lora's said friend forget that Lora was the original hearer of the story, but also that you (the original teller) are now reading your most embarrassing moment as shared in a public setting by someone you have never met who has forgotten that they initially heard the story from the person they are telling it to, to whom you told the story to begin with.

Get it? Got it? Phew.

***

According to a report in the Daily Telegraph, 25 million British adults have been injured by biscuits. Yes, biscuits. That is British for cookies. The injuries caused by the vicious sweets are various and the causes are hilarious. Many have reported poking themselves in the eye, some say that they've been burned while reaching into scalding tea to retrieve a wayward biscuit, some have fallen off of chairs while reaching for biscuits, some have been bitten by dogs and "other wild animals" who have wanted a bite of the biscuit, and one man even became trapped in wet concrete after wading in to rescue a fallen biscuit.

Ohhhhhh, cute. You don't believe me. Well, here you go. Go read the story. This is why I love the British Isles so very much. This is why I backpacked all over the blessed country. This is why I chose England, Scotland, and Wales as the location for my study abroad. Because people there risk their lives every day... for cookies. Bless them.

***
We will now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

day 17- an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

I decided to go with a few favorites.

La Pieta' by Michelangelo. I saw this multiple times when going to the Vatican and it really is breathtaking to think that he was able to make stone look so soft and beautiful. It is a gorgeous statue. I never got a good picture of it because it is behind some glass. Some wacko attacked it with a hammer years back so the Vatican's people had to make some changes.
American Gothic by Grant Wood. My family calls this painting "Cornflakes" because... well actually I have no idea why. But we used to play the game Masterpiece almost every Sunday with my siblings and we'd all pay nearly any amount for this painting. I have no idea why we liked it so much but it will always have a special place in my artsy heart.

Fallingwater by Frank Lloyd Wright. This is a house that is build into a waterfall. I think it is amazing and want to live there. Maybe someday Frank Lloyd Wright will design a house for me on a waterfall... in the mountains... with a circular two-story library... and it won't cost me 2.7 million dollars. Maybe.

Finally, here are a few photos by one of my favorite photographers, Rodney Smith. The man has an incredible eye and I think he's brilliant.

Day 16- a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

I love this. It is incredibly powerful. I would love love love to see it performed.

Another big favorite of mine. Another one I would do just about anything to see performed.

I saw this on Andrea's blog and then on Megan's blog and decided it must also immediately go on my blog...

Thank you, dear youtube, for making me laugh so hard that I choke on my mint. And thank you to Andrea and Megan too.

day 15- a song that represents something significant

I could spend hours detailing why I feel this way and what experiences I have had with this song, particularly the third verse, but I'll save that for another day. For now, just know that it is a song that was written for me. So yeah, it represents something pretty darn significant.

Go watch the video. If you know my Aunt Kriss, you'll be able to see her during some of the close-up shots.

day 14- a non-fictional book

I kept procrastinating this post and fell off of the musing-a-day wagon because I have been having a hard time thinking of a non-fiction book. And I have been really busy. Good busy. Happy busy. Well, let's keep going.

We will start with one I have not read yet.

The Things They Carried
Tim O'Brien
It is currently at the top of my list. I have heard wonderful things.

Now for some I have read and loved.

The Last Lecture
Randy Pausch
Written by a dying man, who is more importantly a professor and most importantly a husband and father. Contains honest and careful lessons taken from a life of learning. Brilliant.
Mere Christianity
C.S. Lewis
There are few things I want more than to someday shake the hand of C.S. Lewis. Very few things.

Man's Search For Meaning
Victor Frankl
Incredible book. Just absolutely incredible. I can't summarize it adequately so I will just say that you should read it.

I also like most of the stuff David Sedaris writes. He's often on my favorite radio podcast, This American Life as well. He is one funny funny man.

There you go! Forward ho, musing-a-day. Let's keep going.

day 13- a fictional book

The Count of Monte Cristo

by Alexandre Dumas

I love this book. I love the movie, even though it is different than the book. But I really love the book. Mostly because of the show Wishbone, which is why I love most books.

This is Wishbone dressed up like Robin Hood, my all time favorite character. I wish we could find Wishbone episodes online or get the DVD set but I can't find a single one. That show was genius.

You know what books I can't for the life of me get interested in? Books that are a series of letters sent back and forth to people or books that are a series of journal entries. For example, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. First of all, what kind of name is that? Forever long, I can hardly remember it, and it makes me bored. I started reading it this summer because it was so talked up and couldn't get into it so I stopped reading. I still went to the book club lunch for it because I wanted to go to lunch and I did pretty great at listening to the conversation and pretending like I knew what they were saying. I even brought the book and opened to a random page then, after skimming it, asking a thoughtful question that prompted a good twenty minutes of discussion. Felt pretty pleased. But I didn't like the book.

I like books with real characters that are believable. Which is exactly why I haven't read, don't plan on reading, and really can't stand mention of the Twilight books. Now ladies, put down your torches and pitchforks and don't hang me just yet. I haven't read them which makes me unfit for comment, right? Wrong. I have read enough reviews from respected readers to make me believe they are not the stuff for me. I hope you can accept that. If you can't, that is okay. I simply cannot tolerate the thought of people not reading the Harry Potter series. We each deal with our different set of injustices.

Now a list of books or series I thoroughly enjoyed as a child:

• The Giver
• A Wrinkle in Time
• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
• From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
• The Westing Game
• Jacob Have I Loved
• The Crown Duel
• The Court Duel
• Matilda
• A Little Princess
• Little Women
• Where the Red Fern Grows
• Mrs. Pigglewiggle books
• Boxcar Children Mysteries
• Ramona and Beezus books
• Island of the Blue Dolphins
• Witch of Blackbird Pond
• Chronicles of Narnia
• American Girl books
• Number the Stars
• Walk Two Moons

I could go on and on... now do you understand why I wrote this earlier post about a year ago?

day 12- Something you find interesting

I find Marc Johns interesting. And hilarious. And random too.

Don't you think he is interesting too?

day 11.5- photos of your cute nephew that make you really happy

I added an 11.5 because I'm allowed to because I am in charge.


I love this little guy so much.

day 11- photo that makes you sad/ angry

Not angry, just a little, little bit sad.

But not long term sad.

day 10- a photo taken of you recently

Is 3 minutes ago recent enough?

P.S. Just got home from work. It is 9 PM. Ouch.

Day 9- a photo of you taken over ten years ago

Ohhhh, why just do one when there are so many awesome ones?

Like this one with the awesomely huge bow and the smirk on my face that says "This is my first day of kindergarten and I am completely calm, cool, and collected and I am still taller than my sister and I am AWESOOOOOME." Kathy's pant legs are different lengths, which is worrisome. And her backpack is bigger than she is.


Or this one where Danny and I are lumberjacks in our Aunt Joanie pajamas (I mean Mrs. Claus pajamas) and you can bet we were in a happy drunken stupor, what with all the Christmas cookies and sudden increase of coveted toys, because when my parents said "Danny, hug your sister!" we actually obliged instead of whacking each other with the new box of legos or doll stroller. This is back when I would freak out if I got my very own can of olives in my Christmas stocking.

Or how about this one where you see how hardcore I really am, what with my pink shoelaces and pristine white sneakers, or my curly pigtails with BOWS, or my soccer jersey tucked in to my soccer shorts, that are by the way pulled all the way up to my elbows, or the goofy smile on my face that basically says "I'm about to go stand on a field and pick at dandelions instead of actually chase a ball around because as long as I stand on the field, my parents will cheer for me and then I get a half-time drink and wildberry skittles at the snack stand afterward and maybe even a hotdog." (That was a long sentence...) And don't even get me started on Danny...

Can you see the barbies we've crammed into the bars so that they can have fun too? This was one of the swingsets that, if you got going high enough, had the one leg lift dangerously off the ground as you swung forward and then would plow into the ground as you swung backward. Safe? Maybe not. We we still encouraged by loving parents to play on such a swingset? Absolutely. Would it surprise you to know that Molly and I actually recreated this photo last year on our Bishop's swingset? When we were 23? No capped sleeve shirts or denim overall skirts with ruffles and no sunsuits with salt water sandals in the re-enactment but the joy was still there... and we would have had the barbies if our whole ward wasn't watching. You can bet. Molly and I have videos of us playing with Ken dolls our sophomore year of college. ('Member, Molls? MC Ken: "Aaaa pooor wayfaaaring man of grieffff" and Mesh-Ken that washed his whites with his colors? And scented Ken? Ahhhh, the memories.)

Okay. I get that this is sweet because I am putting my hand on Kathy's shoulder and she has all sorts of ruffles on her swimming suit but can we just talk about the backdrop? A chain link fence? With weird little ducks stuck on it? Facing a parking lot? With a super old station wagon and mini van? And get a load of my white tennies and my pink folded socks and my super messy ponytail and those super attractive shorts... but WHAT are we looking at?

This might be the best of the bunch. Christmas morning. Kathy and I are now sporting the matchie matchie pajamas from Mrs. Claus. We're lined up from youngest to oldest as was our custom. Danny is pretending that he doesn't care as much as he does, I am the classic girly-girl clutching her nightgown while making an obnoxious face because I can see mom with the camera, and Kathy is in a dead sprint, pure elation on her face as she waves her Christmas bear all over the place. Dad is barely able to hold up that video camera that is the size of a small child and YES! We got Simon that year! And you can see our cuckoo clock... I loved that.

This one is cute, admit it. I remember I looooooved that dress because it was the only one I could actually wear pants underneath, but my mom insisted I call them leggings. And NOW, leggings under dresses are all the rage! We were really ahead of our time. My mom straightened my curls and I have some bang-a-rang bangs, no? I don't know what the heck is on Danny's shirt and his pants are sure high but we sure look picture-perfectesque. And our hair is all really light. But why am I so forcefully holding Kathy's arm and where did her other arm go exactly?

I love fuzzy childhood mems.

day 8- photo that I took

Maybe it isn't the coolest or most artistic or the best quality photo but I took it. I was sitting on my chair inside my apartment in Rome when the sunny sky filled with dark clouds and it started pouring rain. Water started pooling on our huge balcony. A word about this huge balcony: it was almost the size of our entire apartment. Our apartment was so small that I could slide off of my bed and open the tiny fridge and take out my yogurt. I'd eat breakfast in bed every day... mostly because there wasn't anywhere else to eat. And the walls were made of cork. Yep, cork. My chair was right by these huge windows and a big glass door that led out to the balcony and I watched the rain beating the balcony for a good thirty minutes. It was a P-Day and my companion was asleep. After a while, the rain still fell just as hard but the clouds cleared and the sun was suddenly shining through an opening in the sky. It was close to sunset and there were all sorts of colors dancing in the puddles of water outside. Half of the sky was still dark and dreary while the other half shone with deep golds, rich reds, purplish lavenders, and coral pinks. It was incredible.

This post is a little sad because today I found out that my mission is getting split. There were three missions in Italy: the Milan mission in the north, the Catania mission in the south, and the Rome mission (mine) in the middle. The Brethren have decided to split the Rome mission into the Milan and Catania missions and then rename the Catania mission the Rome mission since the mission headquarters will still likely be in Rome. It is sad to think that the places I served won't even be part of the same mission anymore. Tuscany will go to Milan and Rome will go with the southern cities. It is sad to think that the missionaries will be divided between the two places. It is especially sad to think that because the number of missionaries will go down, there will be some cities that will have to close to missionaries.

But, we trust. Because that is what we have to do: Trust the Lord. As always. And even when it is pouring rain and there is so much water that it starts pooling and spilling over the edge, eventually the dark clouds will part and the sun will appear and make it all into a beautiful scene of colors and light. One day Italy will be filled to the brim with strong Italian saints.

And you know what? My problems and disappointments, with time, will turn in to pretty happy colors that play in the rain. I will be fine. I'll always be fine.

Was that cheesy? Oh well...