So, I have had some time recently to really consider what it means to have a Father in Heaven who is interested in the diminutive details and minutia of my life. To illustrate this point, I'd like to briefly mention earthquakes. I'm not going to take time to define the term for you... I know you know what they are and what they can do.
Scary. Destructive. Something absolutely to prepare for and when necessary, recover from. But you realize as well as I do that when a devastating earthquake occurs, it affects a specific area and specific group of people. We see the results on CNN, we pray and try to send relief, but we do not feel that ground tremble. We do not see our houses collapse. In essence, we don't feel it like they do. And perhaps you have... perhaps you've experienced one and if so, I'm sure you can say it was worrisome. But the earth shudders and shakes without us knowing every day. For example, google just told me that yesterday an earthquake hit off the coast of Australia... rated at a 6.6. Did you feel it? Didn't think so. We don't feel others' earth quaking unless we're right there in the thick of it with them.
I personally have never experienced an earthquake that I can remember. I don't suffer from the effects of earthquakes like so many throughout the world have physically. But I can tell you about times in my life when my earth has quaked... when my stability and my foundation were rattled and threatened to topple. And maybe my reasons for this sudden insecurity and fear seem trivial to all others. Maybe no one else's earth would rock and sway under similar circumstances but mine sure did. Maybe they couldn't feel it, but I did.
I had an experience like that recently. My earth shook. I grasped for stability and understanding. I had tried to prepare but found myself afraid and feeling alone. Others felt a portion of the fear because they are deeply involved in my life but it was I that, in my rattled state, knelt before my God and plead for help. Over the next few days and weeks, I have communicated with Him who sees everything with perfect perspective and who knows the end from the beginning. He knew this was not my end and helped me understand how to begin. Through conversing with Deity, I came to understand for myself why he was putting me where I was and what I should do to best embrace His charity and goodness. I realized an enormous tender mercy in a trial and realized that a loving Father was trying to shield His beloved daughter from further pain and anguish. He wasn't trying to injure or break me... rather He was trying to build and protect me, which can sometimes be a painful process.
I had this epiphany today. When we are young, we tend to scream and rage against our parents when they are trying to put us to bed, limit our sugar intake, keep us from playing outside after dark, make us eat our vegetables. They often put us in situations that for us caused our very worlds to shake. You've seen a child in absolute despair over something seemingly small... you want to go and tell them to snap out of it, that it doesn't really matter in the long run if they can't find their favorite blanket... but you don't. Why? Because you understand that that they will gain perspective with experience. Yet it doesn't change the fact that it was painful, difficult, impossible for the younger versions of ourselves to understand why we could not eat that chocolate or stay up late. Elder James B. Martino of the Seventy spoke about this a few years ago in General Conference:
Sometimes we pass through pain and sorrow that we might grow and be prepared for potential trials in the future. I ask a question to you mothers: “Would you ever do something that would cause pain and bring tears to your children when they have done nothing wrong?” Of course you would! When mothers take young children to the doctor to receive immunizations, almost every child leaves the doctor’s office in tears. Why do you do that? Because you know that a small amount of pain now will protect them from possible pain and suffering in the future. Our Father in Heaven knows the end from the beginning. We need to follow the example of the Savior and trust in Him.
This is what Father has been doing with me lately. He's put me in a difficult situation and doesn't excuse Himself, He knows it's painful. But He does this all because He is trying to lessen if not eliminate future suffering. He is steadying my shaking earth. Just as Christ has the power to calm a tumultuous sea and heal a crippled hand and raise a hopelessly ill individual from the dead, He has the power to steady the shaking in a life, no matter how dilapidated. When life seems bleak or anxiety settles in for the long haul, that is when Heavenly Father (only with permission and invitation) extends a perfect hand. When things are difficult, especially when others cannot or will not understand the difficulty and why it plagues you, God can get to you. He can reach you. He can change you and change the earth you stand on because He created both you and your world and He is master of both.
I know this because I've been experiencing it these last few weeks. Again, it may not be anything earth shattering for any of you... but it sure seemed to shatter me for a little bit there. But because I have been taught to talk to this Eternal Parent, I have learned to recognize His voice and understand His doings in my life. I am in no way perfect at this process and am learning daily how to understand more but I hear Him, I see Him, I feel Him.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
Nothing is more important to me at this stage in my life than my relationship with God, my ability to talk to Him, and the charity He continually bestows upon me in the form of trial.
