Engrish

Confession: I start a lot of blog posts with "confession"

Other confession: I don't have much of a desire to travel to Asia. Nope, not any of it. Sorry.

Okay Asian enthusiasts... pitchforks down please. Will it comfort you to know I don't have a huge desire to travel anywhere? I don't really want to see Russia or India or Panama or Greenland or Arkansas either. I like comfort. I like familiarity. I like places I've been so much that given the money and time I'd pretty much always choose to go back (i.e. England, Scotland, Italy, Park City, downstairs)

HOWEVER... one of the redeeming qualities of Asia is Engrish. I love it. I can't get enough of it. I would pay big bucks to go on an Engrish tour of Asia. Seriously. Observe:

Failure to do so could result in lack of injury.  

I feel like I'd want to say this a lot if I worked in customer service for Chase Bank. "You're right, Miss. We are idiots. This corporation is awful. I am out of ways to say sorry. Please hold while I transfer you to another apologist."

Don't even think about it. Move along, move along.

So detail oriented... they think of every possibility. So considerate to the femen.

Oh, you are welcome. (I think they should add "let the search begin")

Isn't it, though?! Cool your jets, freezer... sit down. Think about your life. 

You don't go around the wall like you might think. You simply cannot rely on logic in an emergency. Through the wall, people.  

Sort of reads like a love tragedy. Eat your heart out, Shakespeare. 

If I had a nickel for every time I wished I had a smallpox switch... 

Who wants to see people obey this sign? Raise your hand.

I'm also sorry for enough service, Japan. Too much service almost. I promise to not kid for The Bath room until leave day. Bless YOUR life, Japan!

The naughty palace simply has too many possible captions. I feel like I have stupid disease when I read it. 

See what I mean? Hope you got a good laugh out of this like I did.