Don't mess...

You don't mess with me. If you dish it, I'll dish it back. If you bring it, I'll bring it further. I think people underestimate me because I tend to be a fairly nice person in general... but when it comes to revenge, I am not a force to be reckoned with. The latest victim is a friend from my ward. He's been on my list for a few weeks now when we were involved in a water fight. He doused me a few times and I couldn't ever seem to get him back so I told him to watch his back. I was in the midst planning my revenge... however last night we were having a party at the bishop's house and he sped up the revenge planning considerably by deciding to throw me into the pool. I took it well, I laughed, climbed out of the pool, and sweetly told him he'd regret it. As I wrung out my sopping shirt, the wheels a-started turning. Needed to be unsuspected. Needed to be big. Needed to be cold. Needed to be soon.

We had already decided to go and do a hike the next morning (today) so I told him to come over around eight. I went home and began my battle plan. I searched the house for weapons. I found a squirt gun... not big enough. I had a bag of water balloons... but soon realized that though they are fun, the damage is minimal.  I considered the hose... but hoses can easily turn on you if the target has a stronger grip and I refused to allow that. The pool was clear down the street and I couldn't figure out a way to get him down there without his getting suspicious. A full bucket of ice cold water straight to the face was my only answer. But how??

My bedroom window looks out over our front yard and is somewhat close to the roof. I raced upstairs to see if my plan would work. After popping out the screen, I discussed my plan with my roommates, gave them their various assignments, and went to bed. 

The next morning, I put the preparations in order. Open window right above front lawn without screen? Check. Huge four gallon bucket of ice cold water? Check. Other smaller buckets standing by as reinforcements should the aim of the first bucket fail? Check check. Roommates in place? Check. Victim walking down the street? Checkmate. Showtime.

I got into position. One roommate welcomed him and his friend and told them that I was just getting some things together and would be out soon. The other roommate then took advantage of their nice-guy tendencies as she batted her eyes and told them a devastating tale involving a lost something-or-other in the bushes (conveniently planted below the open window where I hid, holding my breath) and the victim instantly went to work to help her find her trinket. It was too perfect. He stood 10 feet below me, his eyes downcast. So unsuspecting. So unprepared. In seconds, those eyes were wide, his mouth was sputtering, and his face had a look of confusion and shock. 

He had been annihilated. Extirpated. Nay.... liquidated. Soaked to the very core.

I hit my target on the first try. He didn't know what to think... one second he was dry as Death Valley and the next wet as the ocean blue. He looked around at those around him and saw that they were not only innocent but just as surprised as he was. His face slowly looked up at the window where I sat. I waved, a smug look on my face and said in the same sweet voice from the night before, "I told you you'd regret it!" He shook his head in disbelief as we all fell to the ground in a heap of hysterical laughter. I'm brilliant.

Don't mess. You have been warned.