Italians celebrate about 1,389 holidays every year. Rough estimate. And by celebrate, I actually mean "use this as an excuse not to go to work" and during the summer months the definition expands to include "...and spend as much time at the beach as possible." August is actually an solid month of holiday celebration. I remember walking around Prato in August (possibly the most miserable time in Italy because of the heat) and not seeing anyone. Seriously, no one to talk to. Shops close "per le ferie" (for the holidays) and the wait for the bus goes from 30 minutes to 3 hours. Everyone is at "il mare" (the sea) getting their Italian tan on. Every city has their own Patron Saint and they throw an enormous party for him or her every year. They celebrate liberations and traditions and victories and losses and anything else you can think of. We finally got to the point that we just began rolling with it, appreciating the fireworks celebrating the Invention of Pasta Holiday and not feeling so appreciative of the lack of Public Transport or open stores the holiday commemorating the Fruit Vendor's Liberation From Their Annoying Bosses in 1482.
Some of my favorite (actual) holidays include:
Festa Delle Donne- Celebration of Women
Italians would have a holiday to celebrate women. This holiday is in March and it was super confusing for me at first. Basically this holiday means that for an entire day dozens of random Italian men approach you, give you yellow flowers, tell you "congrats" and the try (unsuccessfully if you're a sister missionary) to kiss your cheeks.
La Befana
While walking around the famed Piazza Navona in Rome, I saw thousands of these:
I know what you're thinking. "Italian Halloween!"
Wrong.
Italian Christmas. Yes, this is a holiday that falls every year on January 6th. La Befana is essentially an old witch-looking woman that takes over for Santa. She fills the hung stockings of Italian children with presents and treats on the night of the 5th. If they are bad, she'll bring them coal. So basically it is a holiday where you tell your children that a terrifying witch with hairy warts and magical powers is going to fly on her broomstick, enter your home in the middle of the night and decide whether or not you've been naughty. Awesome.
Wrong.
Italian Christmas. Yes, this is a holiday that falls every year on January 6th. La Befana is essentially an old witch-looking woman that takes over for Santa. She fills the hung stockings of Italian children with presents and treats on the night of the 5th. If they are bad, she'll bring them coal. So basically it is a holiday where you tell your children that a terrifying witch with hairy warts and magical powers is going to fly on her broomstick, enter your home in the middle of the night and decide whether or not you've been naughty. Awesome.
Capodanno- New Years
In Italy, this means "make sure there are at least 17 different firework shows going on in various parts of the city and make sure the Mormon Sisters can see all 17 shows from their balcony and also make sure you set off bombs every 7 minutes so they can't sleep all night long and maybe throw microwaves and other appliances out of your windows to celebrate the new year... oh and yell and drink a lot." Amazing holiday.
Pasqua- Easter
This holiday actually is a little like it's American equivalent... except Italians are really in to enormous chocolate eggs filled with prizes and cakes shaped like doves. Italians will go and buy a ton of huge hollow chocolate eggs for basically everyone they know. The biggest one I ever got was over two feet high.
We'd get over a dozen from various members alone and would have chocolate egg remnants until Christmas. They also give us Colomba, these traditional Italian cakes. They're shaped like doves and sometimes contain cremes and fillings that contain alcohol.
Once the Branch President's wife innocently gave us a chocolate-rum frosted Colomba filled with a coffee cream. That was hilarious.
and finally, the best for last...
Italian Holidays are awesomely hilarious.
In Italy, this means "make sure there are at least 17 different firework shows going on in various parts of the city and make sure the Mormon Sisters can see all 17 shows from their balcony and also make sure you set off bombs every 7 minutes so they can't sleep all night long and maybe throw microwaves and other appliances out of your windows to celebrate the new year... oh and yell and drink a lot." Amazing holiday.
Pasqua- Easter
This holiday actually is a little like it's American equivalent... except Italians are really in to enormous chocolate eggs filled with prizes and cakes shaped like doves. Italians will go and buy a ton of huge hollow chocolate eggs for basically everyone they know. The biggest one I ever got was over two feet high.
We'd get over a dozen from various members alone and would have chocolate egg remnants until Christmas. They also give us Colomba, these traditional Italian cakes. They're shaped like doves and sometimes contain cremes and fillings that contain alcohol.
 |
| Does this look like a dove to you? |
Once the Branch President's wife innocently gave us a chocolate-rum frosted Colomba filled with a coffee cream. That was hilarious.
and finally, the best for last...
Carnevale
From what I can tell, Carnevale is a holiday that lasts continually from New Years to Easter and it is celebrated by dressing up children in random costumes, wearing masks and throwing obscene amounts of confetti all over every single street of Italy for three months straight.
 |
| Pikachu? |
It is supposed to be the Italian version of Mardi Gras but it is celebrated in different ways wherever you go. In Ivrea, a northern Italian town, Carnevale is celebrated with an enormous food fight. It's all supposedly symbolic of a local historical triumph in 1194 when Violette (a Joan of Arc figure) led a rebellion against the evil Holy Roman Emperor Fredrick of Swabia, nicknamed Barbarossa, which means "red beard" and I'm convinced he has something to do with Captain Barbossa From Pirates. The peasants beat the royal class by throwing rocks and so they reenact the process by dressing up in medieval gear and hurling hundreds of thousands of blood oranges at each other.
Not kidding.
 |
| Best idea ever. Seriously, contemplate the magnitude of this awesomeness. At a certain point, this discussion happened and a decision was made. "How can we adequately celebrate our independence that we gained hundreds of years ago? What's that Paulo? Smack each other with oranges? Great idea, I love the way you think. Let's make it happen." |
Italian Holidays are awesomely hilarious.
1 comment:
When my family lived in Italy during the early 90s my little brother was going to an Italian pre-school run by nuns. They told my mom that Kevin needed to dress in a costume for the Carnivale so he came ... dressed as a skeleton. All the others kids came as butterflies and fairies and similar cutesy things. One of those things was not like the others. :) My mom was so embarrassed. We discovered that Carnivale is indeed nothing like American Halloween.
Post a Comment